Hey samdebam, I was thinking of nominating you for cool name of the month. But you need at least ten posts I think.
I'm sorry to hear of the hardships you have endured and your struggle with the bottle. I'd like to wish you luck but I won't. I do wish you success though. Depending on luck to get through this hasn't worked for anyone as far as I know. It's going to take some effort on your part. The first thing you must do is to make the decision to quit. And I don't mean just saying it. In order to succeed you have to want to stop more than you want to drink.
Admitting and accepting that we have a problem that can only be fixed by quitting drinking is the biggest hurdle for many.
But once you embrace that idea and believe it, staying sober becomes a mere formality.
You have to want it. And if you want it bad enough you will come out on top. Luck has nothing to do with it.
And sooner than you know it, you'll be back to your training weight.