Jane, I'm glad you're here.
I also hope that you will step back from your mother, at least for awhile until you feel confident. I had to do the same thing because my mother was toxic to me and I knew it. I learned that I needed to be selfish about that choice and I learned that, in general, I needed to say 'No'. There should be no one in your life who tells you that you are useless and that you should be ashamed of yourself.