Visiting my AS in Jail tonight
Going to go see my son in jail tonight. Although we speak frequently on the phone, it will be the first time I have physically seen him in over 2 months.
My husband went last week while I stayed home with our GD (my son's little girl). My turn this week.
Mixed feelings for sure. Up until this morning, I told my husband to go ahead and take my turn. Decided this morning that I will go see him. I know from past experience that seeing him clean and sober (and about 25 lbs heavier) will be wonderful. He bounces back physically unbelievably quickly when abstaining. While it definitely does my heart good to see him looking (and sounding) so much better, it also triggers other feelings. It makes me sentimental, nostalgic, hopeful.......and triggers some "codie" thoughts.
Going to try and keep focused in the here and now during our visit, and just enjoy seeing him........while trying to take nothing else out of it.
WWD