SadinTexas.....I highly recommend the following articles......to answer the questions that you are asking.....
1. Google: "Addiction, Lies, and Relationships" by Floyd P. Garrett, M.D.
2. Google: "Excused Alcoholics Make" by Floyd P. Garrett, M. D.
These may help you to understand a bit of what you are up against with this disease.
Sad.....an acoholic lies to themselves...(the acoholic voice whispers lies to them 14/7---as that is part of the disease). They cannot trust their o wn selves.....
So, what in the world makes you think that you can trust their words???
Talk is cheap. With an alcoholic....the actions are the only thing to watch!
You want to believe so much that you probably forget this as soon as he starts talking.....LOL!
One time, many years ago when I was married to my children's father (who was a narcissist..not alcoholic)---I posted this on the refridgerator
"Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary".
I agree with the others who recommend that you Read; Learn; Grow......
And, Oh Lord....there Is so much to learn......
dandylion