honeypig: I like what you said, nothing changed, and so nothing changed. I take blame on this too. I was expecting that since he got a DWI he would wake up and realize he has a problem and would want to fix it. He just keeps blaming the outside world rather than look at himself. I have tried to go to Alanon but he just says I will be there just to say bad things about him. (I know it's not about him, it's about me) It is just easier not to try to go yet. He is very controlling, I get that, so I have to make my plans carefully. I have been reading the books Co Dependent No More; Why Does He Do That; and The Emotionally Abused Woman. I have been quietly making a plan B for my boys and I, but then he will have a good day, so I relax and hope it stays like that. But then something else happens. I am actually going to look at a rental house on the other side of the neighborhood later this afternoon. My oldest son goes to Kindergarten and my youngest will be in Kindergarten next year so I don't want to have to switch schools. I need something to remain constant for them right now. This would mean being within a 2 miles from his home, but I want my kids to go to the school that they are used to right now.