You made 30 days - thats awesome. You know how to get sober - now you need to work out how to stay that way...you need a little more grunt to achieve escape velocity but it's far from impossible
I'm not sure where in western Europe you are but there are some international resources and crisis phone numbers in this link CK - some good reading too.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
The drink is fuelling your despair.
Don't make a lifetime decision on the way you feel today.
I've been there.
Things can and do get better King
D