Originally Posted by Timetoheal12

It's hard to explain.
As I kid, I was overweight, but had lots of selt esteem. My self esteem those days was associated with who I really was (inside): intelligent, responsible, funny, dedicated, I was the type of child and even teenager that got the things she wanted, bla bla, by my own efforts.
I was very proud of my self in that area...
But I once met/dated this guy, who, when he dumped me, said that he was very in love with the way I thought and the way I was, but that I wasn't very beautiful. In fact, I discovered he had said to many people this same thing, just that I was ugly.
It really broke my heart cause he was my first crush ever. I know it sounds kind of silly, but I guess it kinda left a wound on me.
Since that happened, I started putting a lot more effort on my appearence. I got very fit and many guys started pursuing me, but somehow and little by little, the intern aspects of my personality were forgotten by me.

I guess that, since him, I always felt like I wasn't enough.
Maybe, I really just had this feeling before, I'm not sure... I was always very self confident as a child.

.. When I was 18 I started to really ask myself what my goals where, and working on achieving them, I started feeling more confident in all areas of my life. It was actually, so far, the best time of my life.
And by 19, I met my ex.

And it all went down the toilet cause I let it happen...

I now feel like I'm really a "nothing" kind of person.
I don't know even where to start to rebuid myself.