Deja vu
I feel like I've been living in a very disappointing deja vu for the past two years....
I miss exabf, I really do, but there was nothing I could have done to prevent his dumping of me. Really, nothing... he might have stayed longer if I had sex with him, and maybe I am lacking of self respect but I would have never given something so important for me to him just to make him stay longer.
I truly feel like a valuable person not because of having certain biological characteristics...
However I am very, very sad. I do not wish to suppress this.
I would have normally sent him a million texts explaining over and over how much he hurt me. I haven't done it this time and it's been a week since he ended things.
I also feel like I can't get him off of his pedestal even tough friends and family tell me how he wasn't good news at all and unworthy of someone like me. But how to feel like this if I even have the suspicion that he dumped me for someone else?
Maybe I'm just making the worse possible scenario inside my head to feel guilty? I imagine him being happy and in love with a very self-confident girl like I once was and it makes me feel awful.
I just don't know how to stop being so obsessive, it's been two years and I do not wish to keep on feeling this way but I can't help it....
I've been reaching out to here everyday... sorry...