I was always confounded by my constant cycle of heavy drinking, guilt about drinking, deciding to quit or cut back, only to resume drinking. I was frustrated. Why can't I quit. If it's because I like drinking, then why can't I moderate.
I couldn't admit I was addicted. I thought sobriety was a result of a decision to quit. It's much more than that.
When I finally figured it out and succeeded, it was because I did the recovery work necessary to support that decision to quit. Find a method or program that works for you, because deciding to quit, no matter how much you want to, is still just the first step in many to reach sobriety.