Ok, so god doesn't exist and AA a cult, one which I myself and very greatful to be a member of.
But there's other avenues.
Do you want to get sober?
P.s.
I have never had to act like someone/ something Im not. If I did that and kept everything that was going on inside of me to myself I'd be drunk.
I am me. I reach out when I'm boggled. I get into action.
If your pissedoff at being you, you do have the ability to change who you are. You have the ability to stop living a lie a d start being honest. You have the ability to stop holding in resentments and pretending.
But I don't know how good just ventings going to work for ya. It doesn't work god for me. I have to get into the solution.
I hope ya want to get into a solution. Theres solutions for everything in life.