You are not a lost cause.
You don't enjoy torturing yourself either!
Here's something I don't know if it has anything to Do with anything:
For a person to do one of these relapses, it seems they would have to have some time sober. IMO that would be more than a couple days or a week. If just a couple days, a person just drank. Period.
Yer scared it will go on and on. That could be a good thing. Yup, it will go on and on IF ya don't get into action and make changes. It will go on and on IF ya don't make getting sober then staying sober #1 priority in her life- put it above everything else.
Sol ya can use that fear to motivate ya to get into action.
But it doesn't have to go on and on. You can stop the viscous cycle, but ya gotta be willing to do whatever it takes.
So, onto solutions. Before I give a suggestion for that, do you want suggestions on solutions? Do you want to stop the vicious cycle?
Yes, you do!
I hope and pray ya want to get sober and are willing to do whatever it takes. Yer worth it and life sober rocks!