I understand this. My husband is on the road for work a lot. He's also in relapse with his addictions. Every time he walks in the door we're not quite sure what Daddy it's going to be today. When I was drinking I never clearly saw the effects of this. Now that I've been sober, it's clear.
In early sobriety these were the days I'd think "I'll show you! I'm getting drunk." Rather than tackle the anger and frustration I'd want to hurt that inner core. It doesn't always make sense. I'd suggest when Brain suggested. Get some sober time and then talk to your husband.
Hang in there. It will hurt sometimes but drinking won't solve the problem.