Alcoholic Wife - Plunge to A-ism so slow, it took a while to realize!
Hi,
Wife in an alcoholic and somewhere in between denial and refusal to attempt recovery.
Since I've known here almost 20 years, we've almost always had wine at dinner or a drink in the evening. But then it got to be "too regular" with her and she would drink no matter what, whether I did or didn't. I noticed there was a big problem when I started realizing she was SNEAKING drinks, siphoning form one bottle to another, and all kinds of weird things to divert attention from the consumption.
Its been at least 4-5 years since I began seeing these signs, but she has kept things somewhat under enough control (a "relative term") - - until lately, when I have begun to address the need for change in our home as things have gotten less and less "under control".
We have an almost-14 year-old son. I honestly don't think he knows Mom is getting "half-lit" every night, but some on here have suggested I am being naive. Maybe he is suffering in silence? I have raised the issue just a bit lately and as of yesterday when my wife completely blew up at me and said all sorts of horrible stuff in front of our son about our marriage and me being the cause of all her emotional strife (and of course, her drinking), our son will barely talk to me. WHY? I am heartbroken, as we live in the country where there are no kids around to run out and play with. I am semi-retired, so my son and I spend A LOT of time together... More than may even be "normal", but we have a great relationship and always have for all his life and 13 years of mine - - until the last couple of days.
I want to make my wife go to rehab or leave till she gets it together. Our son does not need to be a victim of her self-indulgence and stupidity. I am SO sorry if this offends any alcoholics who may read this, but that is how I see my wife's behavior. She was 100% alcohol-free while pregnant and was not always "addicted", but now, with alcohol - and I would say a combination of ambien at night and something called Topamax, I think her mind is just not functioning properly and her judgment and self-control can only be categorized as pitiful (and 99% self-focused).
Wife: A college-educated, reasonably intelligent woman of 50 years, who seems to be going to hell in a hand basket and dragging what would otherwise be a happy and healthy family down with her for no good reason. You know what? I will throw my life in the toilet if it will save my son from having to be sad and depressed in an alcoholic-ruined home.
What can I do??? I need to do something to save us - or at least my son; Preferably all three of us, but as stated, I will do whatever I need to to save my son from a fate he simply does not deserve!
Please help - -