Hey everyone thanks for the messages, I really didn't feel like talking yesterday and to be honest don't today but am forcing myself to.
I double lapsed and deep down knew I would. The boxing night I tried to stay strong but some idiot there kept buying me shots and making a big deal when I refused them so I got hammered then brought a gram of gear at 4am so pointless I know then the fights over and everyone's going home, I find myself in bed at 6am finishing the gear so the temptation won't be there tomorrow.
I wake up Sunday and my mates come to get me go for food I'm still drunk when awake think who cares no work Monday as a bank holiday carry on drinking then comes the coke I then realised about 3am I was chatting rubbish and making everyone awkward so left and don't remember getting home.
I can't believe I wasted 32 days for a weekend that I hated and made a fool of myself again. I know I need to start over again but at the moment I just don't care feel so rubbish.