I took a step backward but will be on track tomorrow. Yesterday we were pretty busy around the house and i was stressing out and having cravings. My husband left the little lockbox unlocked that had my pills in it. I took a half that was in the bottle figuring it would go unnoticed. But i also saw the combination while i was at it. So i took the extra half yesterday and yes i felt it but it was different then i expected. A little bit of a headache, some nausea. But the worst part??? The guilt!
I fretted over knowing the combination of that little lock all night. So he gave me my 1 pill this morning and i went to work. When i got there, my load for the day was delayed until tomorrow so i got sent home. So here i am, headed home, to be by myself with a bottle of suboxone that is NOT under lock and key.
i had to tell on myself. I only have so much and when it's gone, it's gone. To screw around with them like this is just going to set me up for a fall later.
So i told my husband that i had taken an extra half and that i also knew the combo. we counted them and he will change the code tonight. Being honest is hard sometimes. But it was the right thing.
So tomorrow, it's back to 1 a day.
And i just keep going from there.