two years in two days
Probably going to ramble a bit. Heads up.
So I'm coming up on my two year sobriety anniversary, and I havnt been this challenged since i made the decision to quit drinking. I never went to AA or a therapist, I just quit. I drank pretty much everyday for twenty three years. The last seven years were bad. I was drinking at work, with my boss and coworkers all day, then would stop at the packy for a twelve pack and a pint of either whiskey or Ginger Brandy. Sometimes more sometimes less but I Always had to have at least that much or I wasn't getting to where I needed to be. And that was after drinking at the bar most of the day. How I never killed some poor family is beyond me. I actually rear ended a couple vehicles over the years but always got away with it somehow.
Anyway, Im really having a tough go of things lately lately. I'm on meds for anxiety and depression already, and while they keep me in check, I'm losing my ability to stay in control.
I'm constantly thinking about going back into the world I lived in for so long. I won't do it, I've made a promise to my sons, but damn if this is not constantly on my mind lately.
My depression has sank to new lows. Stress it at an all time high. I have a great job, two awesome boys and a wife that, we'll, put up with me for twenty years so I guess that's saying something.
When I sobered up I went into a shell. I cut contact with all my friends, all drinkers if not alcoholics, went completely introvert and tried to focus on healing. Now I'm finding myself alone, even tho I have a family. My wife, while supportive and extremely proud of what I've done, just dosnt understand what I'm going through. He'll, i dont..
Im on my phone and this is turning into something longer than I thought, I need a break. From a lot of things..