You know Nicki killed himself, I wrote about it before. We were actually rivals but he was a good guy. He runs in my mind daily, I don't know why, but never again.
Jartsober, alcohol will make you sad and play with your mind chemistry. It will make you think things you will never do. You're right suicide is never the answer, come play poker or chess with TDG online? LOL I can get you the information .