It sounds like you and I are going through the same thing. Again, I've failed. Like you, I quit (again) in January and fell off the wagon about 2 weeks ago and have fallen directly on my face…..having been drinking heavily since. Two days ago, I decided to try again (made the decision on 4/30……….made the date really easy to remember). This time, for me, has been completely different than any time before b/c the withdrawals I'm encountering are utter torture. Every thing you said hit directly home with me. Thanks for sharing.