I woke up sober on Day 8. I felt proud but also had to remind myself that I toed a very thin line last night. I didn't do the work to remain drink free last night. I got lucky.
A new neighbor moved into the neighborhood. He's a young (when did I get old???) soon to be single dad. We've spoken a bit before about the schools, etc. He came by for a bit last night to chat. He's a drinker.
He didn't bring alcohol (first time we talked was at the local bar, so he assumes I still drink). He said "I almost did but got off work too late to make it to the bank".
I felt relief.... Then a bit of sadness. I wrestled with myself: If there had been alcohol, would I have been able to say no or would I have caved? Knowing I can't answer that with 100% no this early in my recovery means I can't put myself in those situations at all.
I'm learning daily. I feel stronger in some ways, but last night proved to me it's not time to wave the "I got this" banner. It's time to revisit my plan.
I said the other night, between sobs, "I won't give up one more thing for alcohol" I mean that, so it's time for me to start acting like it all of the time.