Get help.
This could kill you.
You could end up in intensive care or worse, incubated and sedated.
The job won't matter if you are not here to live and get detoxed.
Go try have a wash.
Pack a few things.
Confide in someone.
Can you really not confide in your mum?
She loves you, you are her son. As a mum myself, I would hate that my daughter was so ill, so unhappy, that I might loose her, because she thought she could not tell me or ask for help.
You can get back to where you were in life.
You just have to jump a few hurdles first.
Please, please keep close to us here and let us know where you are and how you are doing.
Are you in the UK or elsewhere?
If you were in the Uk, I would ring an ambulance for you. You getting through this matters that much to me, really you do.
I wish you the best xx