Welcome back Jen, maybe you can dump out that second bottle? It will make things worse rather than better.
I'd have to agree with bob, hanging out in a bar is probably one of the last places you want to be when you are newly sober. You ask what is wrong with you, my guess is that you are an alcoholic. So are we, so we get it. First things first you have to get rid of whatever alcohol you have, then tomorrow re-tool and start again. You made it 18 days, that's proof that you can do this.