Originally Posted by
Turtle82 
Welcome to SR and congratulations on your decision to get sober. I'm AA and don't self-flagelate so am not sure what you mean by that. If you're in a metro area especially, there are all kinds of meetings. You might want to try Big Book or Step ones. At any rate, check out a few different ones with different people. One of the first sayings I heard in AA was "Only alcoholics have blackouts." and I've found that to be true other than the occasional New Year's party social drinker that had the amount hit all at once maybe due to eating a lot while drinking.
turtle - not all members do that. I have been to 2 Big Book/open type meetings. I have gotten a lot out of listening to the people who are there, they're wonderfully open and kind. But I have gotten a "I'm such a miserable person" vibe from a couple...it's hard, I totally understand, and there are days my self-esteem is at the bottom too. I might do better with someone 1-1, but we'll see how it goes. Not giving up on it yet...it's all a process.