The reason I have been so wishy-washy going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth about AA is because I don't feel that AA is for me, but people in AA try to convince me that without it I will never stay sober....
More specifically: the people at
your home group told you that. I cannot remember any AA members who are on SR telling you that.
I have encouraged you before to explore other things.
I think a while back I even suggested that you
not go to AA because between the rigid personalities at your group and your people pleasing/trouble setting boundaries it gave your AV more ammunition.
Have you read your Rational Recovery book yet?