"I set the date to give up booze as everything was quiet at work and my music job was also coming along very well. "
Work stress seems to be a significant trigger for you and loss of him is going to cause you some so I sure wouldn't add to it by trying to help him. I know that sounds harsh but your own sobriety has to be a priority. Besides, you can't help another if you're not in shape yourself.
I'll share this with you. When Hubby was in the hospital and I was told he might not make it, that was a bunch of stress. I did not know what the future held at that time. I was sitting outside and was joined by a gal who had brought another person to the ER who was not expected to make it due to the physical consequences of alcoholism. They were both residents at a half-way house. Over the hours that followed, until sunup, we did a lot of talking. I shared my story with her as well as what strength and hope I had at the time. She asked me to sponsor her and we exchanged phone numbers. Later, my Hubby's medical situation demanded transfer to another hospital 150 miles away and what turned out to be months there. She called and I had to decline saying I didn't know what the future held and was spread too thin. Days later a member of her family called pleading with me to sponsor her and saying she had not made it with multiple sponsors and they had never seen her so affected by what anyone had to say as what I did. I could have let that get to my ego but, no, I had too much on my plate. God directed my words at the hospital and He would take care of her. It did get to my heart though and I've thought of her often. I'm sure she's doing well because what she heard from me that appealed to her was my following and depending on God's will. I have no doubt she looked for someone compatible with that.
This is where I have so much trouble helping others. I don't know what program you're in. I don't know if its a spiritual one. They only way I can advise, from my own ES&H is spiritual. But, not matter which one you're in, as others and I've said, your own sobriety MUST come first. Can you turn this over to your HP? That's what's required other than, maybe, talking to him and directing him to any available resources such as Salvation Army we have here.
Hope that helps a little and good luck to you.
