Originally Posted by
kittycat3 
Yeah amp, you are a very kind person to want to help. Glad you can be there. I'd just let him guide how you might help. You can't get him sober, he has to want to make changes. It's hard to say but it sounds like you should proceed w caution. Not sure how things are in Spain but here in U.S. Privacy is such a concern and even just driving to someone's house might be a little overstepping of bounds. Just be careful you don't get too involved....
Thanks for the feedback, Kitty. I'm totally with you on the privacy thing but we were worried that maybe he was really sick or had a heart attack or something which is why I went round in the end. I like you're idea of letting him lead things and also Cauliflower's advice about setting clear boundaries. I was talking to a friend in social services and she's going to try and find out about different options in the local area. Maybe she'll come up with something constructive.
OMD, yes, you are right! Of course I need to cut her more slack...it's not like she hasn't put up with stuff from me!!!