Hey Guys
so its Sunday evening and i am so pleased i have actually had an excellent weekend without drinking. I had a busier weekend then i usually would when i was drinking. I went shopping on my own and avoided any alcohol, i worked out i watched films with my family and i even went to the garden centre which before now i would have been so negative about doing any of that!
ive realised my outlook on life was always negative when i was drinking but now i couldn't be more positive and happy. Its just been a lovely weekend, no hangovers no disasters just 'a plain old boring weekend' which actually i love
Does anyone ever get the little voice in there head though still saying you might be able to be normal or just have one etc?! Because i no full well that's not possible but its almost like the addiction wants me to 'try' it... Im not going to because i no the consequences but its just bugging the life out of me.
sometimes i just think if it wasn't for my eating disorder that caused the anxiety that led to drinking i wouldn't be in the situation but now ive beaten the bulimia i don't feel the need to get hammered as they say. Sometimes i just think its annoying that i cant be a normal 23 year old and just be able to socially drink, but i keep telling myself it doesn't matter how or why i become an alcoholic, it happened and i need to keep strong and keep fighting because im sure its the addiction putting these thoughts in my head, because my sobriety is so important to me...
MJ x.x