Its not about what we've done, or have done. Its about what we will do, and you personal reflection and self awareness is a good sign. Goes to show that you want change, and I believe you will change.
You have many friends here, I've slipped and fallin many times. This habit come and get you if you don't watch out. However, here you are, you showed courage and posted and found support. Life is short, our time is limited, just go forward and be sober my friend.