Welcome neversurrender - it's so good to meet you.
At 35 I was the same - I had no 'good' reason or excuse to drink, but I found myself increasingly dependent on alcohol. I didn't stop then, though. I kept playing with it, trying to use willpower, for many more years. In the end, I was drinking all day & my life was torn apart. This never has to happen to you. We are here to help.