If you drink, you give yourself no fighting chance, Alpha.
Remember that alcoholism is progressive even when you stop drinking. Hang in there, kick some ass, and distract yourself when you think of "escaping" with a drink. The world keeps moving even if you're drunk as a skunk. The problem is, you get reset back to where you were when you last stopped. If not worse.
Also, I'm sorry. Life can be crappy sometimes.