The thing that frightens me, is I gave been taking it one day at a time. Collapsing at the end of each day, wondering how I made it through ? I try to talk myself down thinking, it won't always be this bad. To just hang on. But day after day, it's exactly the same. And perhaps a little worse.
I try to count my blessings, and remain positive. Reminding myself there are many who are not afforded another day to struggle through. But after enough days like together, with little to no reprieve, either with circumstances or physical health, I want to run like hell.
And there is no where to go.
So the bottle looks tempting as an out, if only for a bit.
I have help. But it's not enough. When the buck stops here for so many things. Decisions have to be made constantly regarding health, business, etc. it's at the point I shake when my phone rings, and jump when I hear someone entering my office.
Is it too late to go to rehab at 4 months sober ? I need the rest.