Originally Posted by
Kallioya 
The situation is as follows:
My son has been in AA for 6 months now.
At the 4 wk mark he met an older woman and they are now madly in love
Since they have been together I hear from my son less and less, which is fine as he is an adult male and free to make his own choices
This is my fear... Yup I'm a codependent and an acoa.
Since they have been together he has been taking her sons ADHD medication. He's said he has only taken it twice??
They drink energy drinks like they crazy
He smokes pot daily
He's stopped calling / texting giving me updates on his AA progress.
When I've queried him on the pot smoking he says his AA group says it's fine. He says his groups supports the new relationship. He was just out of his last abusive relationship 5 weeks, before beginning this one.
Do you think he is actively working the AA program? My fear is he is heading on a downward spiral.
I realize that there is nothing I can do except detach with love..
Do you think I am over reacting. He is actively distancing himself . My gut tells me he's doing more than he's says.
How do I respond the next time I hear from him? I'm trying really hard to work the Alanon program and have a meeting with an addiction therapist.
Thanks everyone...I'm just so confused...
I’m Al-Anon and ACoA. I have adult family members that are in a similar situation to what you’ve shared. It was difficult to let go of my enabling control issues. What I leaned to do is let them experience their own life, until hopefully they’ll reach their bottom and surrender as I had.
BTW, the AA fellowship and AA text has no dogma, there's no hierarchy with either, so no one in AA has the prerogative to say what's OK and what isn't, everyone is equal in the AA fellowship. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking, and no one has to prove their desire. Anyone is a member when they say so. Anything else is ignorance and bully tactics, suble and / or overt.
Some of the same AA party liners that bully newcomers are addicted to nicotine which is the #1 killer. Or, they’ve transferred addictions to gambling or food and eat themselves into obesity. Yet, they give abstinent advice to those that take psychotropic drugs for depression or those that smoke pot.