I found that a lot of my reservations about AA or any help with my drinking problem all boiled down to my pride and fear. Anything that jeopardized how smart and capable I was based on my self will was a problem to me. I was afraid it might work and my identity would be threatened. I'm less angry these days and it's a rare occasion that anything brings me to the point of rage and resentment. I don't crave alcohol. I don't know if that's God, Allah, the universe, or whatever else but I know it wasn't just me. Good luck on your journey and don't drink no matter what!