Paintballer, my experience with AA was similar to yours. I met kind and generous people who truly believed in what they were doing. I also read the BB in a careful and critical way, and I wasn't able to find what I expected. What I found was much as you did in many aspects, and my feelings were as yours. I won't repeat your language, I seem to have a knack of saying things a little too clearly sometimes, but rest assured that I shared your experience in all material ways. Specifically, the more I learned, the more disillusioned and angry I became with what I perceived.
I was depressed and miserable, ashamed of my behaviour, and I was looking for help with these things, an empowering approach, something that would help me address and understand how I felt about my next drink so that I wouldn't take it. I wanted help with my addiction to alcohol. I found that elsewhere.
I also found a life that gets more engaging and positive all the time, with new outlets for my drives to learn and experience and grow. I have found my self respect, some peace and joy and even a little happiness too.
Please drop me a pm if you wish, paintballguy. I am happy to share my experiences with you. Above all, believe in you, ok? I do.