Yes there is a smart meeting held at my daytox program thursday nights and i have an appointment with an addictions counsellor.wednesday morning i will probably check the smart meeting out i thought of that i hear its very popular.
Problem is the temporary sponsor assigned to me by the aa office found out i was skipping thursdays in my area because its big book study when i met him and he offered to drive me to his home group across town because he thought it was a bad idea to miss meetings.
He is a really nice guy, has been checking up on me almost every day we met up friday afternoon. In a way i dont want to get into it with him he is very devoted to the program and i know he will try to convince me to give it more of.a.chance... At least not right now....
My friend who convinced me to go to aa in the first place tried to convince me and the conversation went so sideways she wont even speak to me anymore. Maybe shell come around maybe not but i dont want to get into it with him if im feeling so.angry like this and i know it will get bad if he is a good aa person trying hard to help out a fellow alcoholic and tries hard to convince me.
Its a conundrum. Im not mad at the aa people they are all so nice i am just mad at the foundations of the program itself being so faith based. I dont want to insult, anger, or discourage anyone but im armed with a lot of data as i spent the last 2 days looking for.hard data on aa efficacy and i really dont like what i found. I tried looking.for hard data or real studies in aa favor to ensure i found the other sides story but i could find nothing.
To.each their own but i know aa people really want to help and they are very passionate about the program. I just really wish i knew all this before i got involved at all.
:-(
I havent broken and gone to get booze though thats a good thing hopefully this anger subsides and i make it.to day 14 unscathed.
Thanks for listening and my apologies to anyone reading who loves the aa program. I have found aa people to be so nice i hope not to offend anyone.