I feel like you and I have a lot in common. My father struggles with alcohol addiction and so I have based my drinking on his, and I would justify my drinking as, "well I don't drink every night," or "I don't get the shakes." I got plowed on the weekends, and a lot of 20+ people here in the Midwest city I live in do. It's acceptable. But not to me. I now know that my drinking is destructive to ME. It's not fun. It's dangerous. Fights, screaming, crying, falling down, blacking out, none of that is fun. I am reading a staying sober book and the author had some good advice: on your deathbed, you will not look back and think, "damn, I wish I had drank more."
That little whisper enters my ear too, often on Friday. It's going to be tough. And this Friday is going to be my first sober Friday in a long time. It's going to be tough, but the Sober me is going to scream louder than the Drunk me. Sober Me will prevail. It has to. It's life or death.
I think what makes alcohol so insidious is that manifests different tragedies for different people. Some, its physical. Some it'd social or family. Despite it all, there is a commonality: it's destructive and it will sabotage everything.
Good luck on your journey; I look forward to being on mine with you and everyone here!