Hi Soberwolf. :-) I think you mistook what I was trying to say. What I was trying to tell Annataboy is that a relapse doesn't have to mean complete failure. If he looks at it that way then it's even harder to get back on the wagon, which is the mistake I always made in the past. "Oh well, I've failed now. May as well have another bottle."
I didn't want him to disregard how far he had already come. For me, the self-loathing after a relapse was always the thing that meant the relapse turned into a month-long bender.
That's all. :-)
(I definitely don't want to harm anyone!)