Hey JustMe.0,
I am somebody who always struggled with my weight a bit going up-and-down about 30 pounds quite often. However once I started drinking alcoholically, I gained a whopping 60 pounds and I did not even recognize myself in pictures.
It is virtually impossible to lose any weight when you're drinking tons of calories every night from alcohol. I found it was not just the 1800 cal I was drinking every night, it was the hangover food that I would stuff my face with every morning to try and improve the hangover. Did it work? No. But I kept trying and trying and eating and eating. I found that hangovers and binge eating went to hand in hand. Often at midnight on a work night when I was near blackout drunk I would think that a burrito would make it so I would not be hung over in the morning so I would eat a big fattening burrito right before bed.
I honestly did not lose any weight in the first few months of sobriety and I was shocked. But I know why. I was eating terribly and had replaced alcohol with junk food. That was actually okay though. I found over eating to be much healthier than drinking. It was a temporary crutch and now I feel like my whole body has normalized at nine months.
Trust me. The drinking only gets worse. It takes quite a while to get better but if you went back to drinking it would be instantaneously disastrous. And your weight will never go down if you're drinking alcoholically. You can do this.
It's tempting to think that all we need is a break from alcohol and somehow in the future we will drink like a normal person. I have yet to read the story on here from somebody who did that and was successful and I have read thousands and thousands of posts over the years.