Here is what bipolar looks like with alcohol
Sober for two months. Write two articles that are worthy of publication, and alas, you see your name in print. Endure a miscarriage, but you survive that.
Clean your house from top to bottom. Organize everything, meanwhile a great mom to your kids. Cook and freeze meals, label everything, attend to every soccer game. Host friends over for dinner. You aren't sleeping, because there are things to do! People to attend to. Mania. You think you can outsmart the low that comes.
You send thoughtful gifts to friends, and engage in conversations when they call you back to thank you. They tell you what a thoughtful person you are. And all you want to say is. . .
"I am in recovery. On the very edge of a relapse. Because I don't take the medication, and I want to explain it to you but I can't."
So you host a party, and of course offer beer and wine. And you have that glass of wine that someone gives your for being a good hostess.
And you relapse. Because you don't use your tools, and you don't tell people what you need.
That is all.