things I want to work on in sobriety
I have 68 days sober. I still have nights that I really want to drink. I still haven't completely committed to living a sober way of life. But there are things I want to get straightened out in my life and I know I will not if I keep drinking the way I was before.
One of the many things that I want to fix is my weight. I am about 100 pounds heavier then I would like to be. That is how much I have gained in the past 4 1/2 years. And it is going to take a LOT of work to lose it. Quitting drinking has not helped me lose any weight. Maybe I just replaced the alcohol with sweets. So it is going to take action on my part. Start going to the gym and developing healthier eating habits. I think it will take at least a year if not longer to get down to a weight that I am happy about.
There are other things I want to work on too. Like my budget and paying off some small debts I have. And cleaning my house and my car and learning to keep them clean and not let the trash, dishes, litter box, ect. pile up until I absolutely MUST clean because my mom is coming for a visit. I also need to work on not drinking so much diet coke, brushing my teeth twice a day, go to the dentist to get my 3 cavities filled, and correcting my horrible sleeping patterns.
I think working the steps will help me to let go of my past relationships and move on. Maybe the 4th and 5th step will help me see what I did wrong and why things didn't work out and I will be able to know what I am looking for in my next relationship. And stop wishing I could have my old relationships back.
All these things will take time to get straightened out but sometimes I still think that after I get them all worked out I will go back to drinking. Like I just need to take a break for a while to get my life in order but I don't want to quit forever.
But I am going to accept that I feel that way right now. Because hopefully by the time I do get all those things the way I want them, I will have worked the steps and been sober long enough that I won't want to drink anymore.