I don't doubt she is miserable. When sober, she can, with some effort, behave happily and be social (I say with some effort b/c we're both introverted by nature, me much less so but only b/c I've worked at it for years). But when drunk, maybe 8 times out of 10, she ends up in tears. "You hate me," (one time she said this b/c I told her her hands were cold), "You should have married someone else," and of course, "In vino veritas."
The depression/anxiety came first. She was diagnosed years before she ever tasted alcohol. She has a lot of lingering issues from childhood/adolescence (no abuse or anything like that, but a family member made one HUGE mistake that's had continuing repercussions). She went to counseling about a year and a half ago during a particularly bad spell, but since she got on new meds, she won't go back, says it's a financial issue (I have money; I'm willing to pay--we always seem to have time and money for booze, after all).
She denies there's a problem, then denies she's denying it, and knows that I won't believe her denying of it because denial is a sign you have a problem. You can't get anything past her subtly. She's too smart.