Originally Posted by
alexddy 
Dear all, thank you very much for your encouraging words. I have decided to stopped drinking. I haven't had a drink since that night which has been 3 days now. And I had gone to my first AA meeting yesterday. It was very inspiring listening to other people's story. I will be going for AA meeting again tomorrow.
It's just that this guilt that keep on creeping on me and that self hatred that I'm feeling right now. Feeling so depressed and ashamed for what I've done, not too sure if there is any underlying problem within me.Who are we when we're experiencing blackouts? Do we have any idea when we were doing? Is that the real us?
no the drunk is not you. the drunk is drunkyou. the sober person is sober you. don't confuse the two. the only thing is while you are drinking and with the morning afters and all, you still have to answer for drunkyou. that was one of the main reasons I quit. I couldn't stand answering for drunk me anymmore. how can you answer for someone you don't even know. when you get sober and therefore sane, you dont have to be so ashamed because the madness just stops happening. we all have to forgive ourselves, otherwise we would all drown in shame. i am so very glad someone came up with the whole idea of forgiveness. Often though we forget that we don't just need to forgive others sometimes, we also need to forgive ourselves. It can often work as a get out of jail free card for our souls. it's really the only way many of us ever have a chance of ever feeling good about ourselves again -- ever. everyone screws up. we just screw up a lot worse when we are drinking. just put drunkyou in the rearview, stop wasting your emotional energy shaming yourself, hating yourself. about the only thing that does is make you feel so bad you are just going to want to drink to numb that pain. so stop that. and move on -- a new and better person.