Glad your here, Alex. As stated weve all done some pretty insane things we wouldn't have done had we not been drunk. Something good is there's nothing unique abut your actions or how you feel about yourself today. Most of us have had pretty insane actions while drunk. Woke up to terror and bewilderment- couldn't believe we did what we did the night before.
Then get drunk again.
The great fact is many here have been there. We'd still be there if we didn't decide we wanted to stop drinking and put in the footwork to do so.
I didn't read anywhere you mentioned you wanted to stop drinking.
Do you want to stop drinking?