Take a deep breath, Lazula, sit quietly for a bit, and realize where you are and what steps to take to get where you want to be. The first few weeks are the hardest, but there are plenty of brothers and sisters here that will bend over backwards to help you through. As Dee asked if you have a plan, begin to formulate one. That is imperative. But allow yourself to be flexible and correct your directions if you so require. If AA meetings are the path you feel you need to take, do so. Don't concern yourself with the issue of being a professional and others seeing you attend meetings. It only shows you are human and willing to "practice what you preach". That in itself can be a powerful message to others seeking their own sobriety. It's time to care for Lazula.