Welcome Lazula. Your post is very familiar to me. We have similar circumstances. I am in the same boat regarding seeing people I work with at meetings. SR works 100% for me so far. I've managed 14 months sober, through the very difficult beginning and beyond, with just SR. I am on this site a lot, a few times a day, even if only to read. It keeps me motivated and doesn't let me take sobriety for granted. The support, encouragement, and suggestions are priceless. There are wonderful people here. You have a very high stress profession....but coping by drinking only makes matters worse and makes you more stressed. My suggestion is to stick with us here...maybe see an individual counselor also if you need extra support. But sobriety is possible, and you can do it privately if necessary for your career.