Welcome,
It's great that you're being so honest with yourself. Can you discuss it with your wife?
I attend AA meetings (definitely no pressure to do the same of course) and really enjoy the support. You'll find a great sense of community here too!
Personally, I can't do moderation. I've been trying for years. I can't tell anyone what's right for them but I know that I can't stick to any kind of "drinking plan" I've made in the past and to be honest, having to make a plan to moderate drinking probably isn't a good indicator of what's to come!