You're not an idiot and you're here and wanting to pick yourself up and try again. Nothing idiotic about that!
It's good you've identified what didn't work for you last time. Keep building on your recovery plan and keep working it. I've relapsed many times and the one thing separating me from my family with drug and alcohol addictions is that I keep trying. I change whatever didn't work, and i start again. There's no shame in it.
With regards to your book, be patient and it might just come! In early sobriety my head was far too foggy to even think that far ahead. Just give yourself time to heal and be patient with yourself.