Ditto to what everyone else has said. I'm now fourteen months into my sobriety and I can honestly say that it is only about NOW that I'm starting to be the person hubbie HOPED I would be. Alcoholics are well known for playing victim. That does not change the moment we put down the bottle. We have to learn how to cope with all of the things we used booze for. Loneliness, boredom, anger, getting through social events when we're the only ones not drinking. Those we have to re-learn how to do. We have to find new ways of filling the holes in our lives we filled with booze. None of that stuff is magically cured by rehab. If there are dysfunctional patterns in your marriage you will see them get worse, not better in early sobriety. There will also be the fear of relapse, which statistically the rates are sky high. I'm one of the few in my women's recovery group that I know of that managed to stay sober for at least year the first try at sobriety. I don't mean to scare you but time and time again I see new faces here that have serious letdowns post rehab. I would say that the best thing you can do for yourself and your husband is to keep careful note of things you would expect of him if he was not an alcoholic/alcoholic in recovery and expect him to do those things. Do NOT enable the victim behavior. It has taken me 14 long months to break out of this cycle. So long as you let us play victim, cut us slack, we will take advantage of you. We CAN learn. I am, others do, but recovery as others have said is an entirely different animal than sobriety itself.