Great to meet you itstiime - I'm so glad you're here with us.
When I joined SR it really helped me calm down and find the courage I needed. No one judged - everyone understood. You're never alone - there's always someone here to listen and help.
My drinking started out innocently enough the way yours did. Just a few were relaxing. I never meant to become dependent on it. I also worked my way up to a scary number of drinks each day - and I never felt high or happy in the end - just miserable & disgusted. It's good you're taking action now - some never realize what it's doing to them. You can do it!