Hi Knurdyone
I'm a guy but my family was just as dysfunctional - I went minimal contact with them for a couple of years....just the occasional phone call.
When I went back I went back as a slightly different person - more confidence. month emotional growth and the dynamic between us changed for the better.
It's never going to be perfect between but I know who I am, I have a solid self worth and nothing anyone says can change that.
I accept their dysfunction, I don't try to change them and they in turn seem to respect me a little more.
Is no contact or minimal contact an option for you?
D