Hey friends.
Heavy duty thread. I'm really moved by your experiences and how you see things right now. I feel for you guys.
You know, I'm thinking none of us are actually beyond understanding. And none of us are beyond truly helping others either. Myself, I think Cow has it right about her niece. It's sad of course how circumstances play out. There are always layers of complexities when such horrific backstories are in play. It's truly difficult to get off the carrousel.
Life for me is not about living so I don't die. There were times in my life I was suicidal enough that dying made too much sense. Despair and depression all the more jam up the works. Alcoholism doesn't really make it easier to deal with a miserable life, it just makes it easy to become and thereafter sink into a morass of delusion.
It may seem that just going thru the motions of helping whomever should be enough and I whole heartily disagree that when helping others faking whatever can still work wonders. I think we can fake out ourselves all we might want, pay the consequences, and whatever. Faking out others is a whole other dance, and I don't like the music.
Life is worth living not because dying sucks, but because living life as best we can with what we got is always worth the effort. Sure results vary. Sure things can go south. Doesn't matter really. Life is always worth the effort.
As you most of you know, I'm in hospital tonight. The took the biopsy of the lymph node in my neck. They'll test for cancer. And if they discover cancer, I'll fight even more to enjoy my life than I have already.
And if no cancer is found, then that is alright too. Either way, I still win. We all gotta die sometime. As long as I go out being the best I can be even if I not great at being the best I can be, at least I'm trying my best to be authentic and smell the roses. Think Larry The Turtle.
Authenticity rocks.
Hey guys! Cheer up! Its not all jokes and doomsday gloom. Nothing wrong with being serious and happy too. Yeah?
